In honor of Mother’s Day – We bring to you a few excerpts from
“A Mother’s Dictionary” 
Defense – What you’d better have around the yard if you are going to let the children play outside.
Drooling – How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter – One who asks if the kids would care for dessert.
Family Planning – The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you just on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback – The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name – What you call your children when you are mad at them.
Grandparents – The people who think your children are wonderful even though they are sure you are not raising them correctly.
Hearsay – What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent – How we want out children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Puddle – A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing shoes into it.
Top Bunk – Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Verbal – The ability to whine in words.
Whodunit – None of the kids who live at your house.
Whoops – An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge”.
Words of Wisdom
It’s always darkest before the dawn. So, if you are going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
Always remember you are unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you are a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
It you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
Good judgment comes from a bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Everyone seems normal, until you get to know them.
The most important ingredient for a long marriage is a short memory.
April/May 2008
Yuma Territorial Prison State Historic Park
contest winner will receive a 12 oz. bag of Fossil Creek Trading Company’s Mogollon Mudd (whole bean or ground). Fossil Creek is the contest’s sponsor. 
